Rosie the band's weblog

The Hoff on the moon! We should’ve seen it coming.

David Hasslehoff; Television Legend, has accomplished more with his life than many dream of, but recently he decided it wasn’t enough. He called a press conference last Wednesday at the Hilton hotel to tell the world of his new plan, to; in his own words, “Cure every disease in the world. Ever.” This was of course, taken with mixed reaction. Dedicated fans off the Hoff have every bit of faith in their Baywatch hero, claiming that if he can help Spongebob, he can help them. Some speculate how he will manage this seemingly impossible task. And pretty much everyone else thinks he’s an idiot, and he’s gone insane.

But how will he cure every disease? In his press statement he acknowledged the main reason for there being no cure already was that; “The scientists don’t have enough money.” And that he would raise the extra cash by doing a sponsored swim… to the moon. This as many of you will know, is impossible, for more reasons than I can care to list. All the same, the Hoff seems to think this will save the world, and is determined to go through with it. You would of course, imagine that someone would tell him, and that this whole insane charade would judder to an embarrassing halt. But we do not live in a world of woulds and shoulds. No, rather than enlighten him, the authorities are going to keep him in the dark, literally! The plan is to convert the San Alfonso del Mar Seawater pool in Algarrobo, Chile, the largest indoor swimming pool in the world, into an artificial outer space. In the hope that poor David will swim the distance across the fake space, and onto the fake moon, (also in production.) This may seem like a waste of money, but the “Fake Moon Hoff Swim” has actually already collected millions in donations from people who just want to see an idiot swim to the moon. All of the money is of course going into medical research, and will fingers crossed, cure every disease in the world. Ever.

Doug Wallace


One response

  1. Jam

    I’d swim to his moon

    January 6, 2011 at 11:55 pm

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